


Roll for Initiative

by dogtit



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, background emily/lena, dnd lesbians dnd together and have fun with it, the most unrealistic thing about this is that they can all do math really well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 14:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13742655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogtit/pseuds/dogtit
Summary: It's Thursday night and Satya has everyone right where she wants them. Assuming the rolls are in their favor.





	Roll for Initiative

**Author's Note:**

> there's a Very Obvious Community joke in here and im stating here and now, yes, it is what you think it is. sometimes word for word. i love that episode. also some shout outs to critical role because GOD i love that show.

 

 

Satya Vaswani observed the table with a stoic expression. “Alright. Are we prepared to pick up from where we left off?” 

“No, no no!” Hana huffed, taking a handful of dice from the enormous bag tucked beneath her chair. “I haven’t done my  _d20′s_  yet.” 

There was a scoff from Amélie as she drummed the stylus of her tablet against the table with a scowl. Without her make up the years of insomnia and nocturnal sleeping habits were plain in the constant shadows beneath her eyes, which lessened the impact of what Hana assumed was meant to be an intimidating glare. In response, Hana stuck out her tongue.

“I  _gotta_ ,“ Hana said, letting the dice fall in the tray and scouring over the results with a keen eye. Among the colorful multicolored array of twenty sided dice she plucked out the four highest rolls, the rest she swept away back into her bag as she’d already completed the ritual with the other dice she had set aside. 

To placate the silent and brooding woman to her right, Hana plucked up the natural eighteen and showed off the deep purples and blacks of the die, the numbers highlighted in startling red. “Look! The Widowmaker themed dice rolled high, that’s good luck. Stop moping.” 

Amélie huffed, looked to her tablet, and proceeded to do a double take. “I--I have  _dice_?” More incredulously, she sputtered, “I have  _merchandise?_ ” 

“Sure ya do!” Lena cheered as she carefully set out the three pages of her character sheets. “I got a pair of leggings that kinda look like the bottom half of your suit.”

Amélie looked faintly disturbed by that. “Don’t you have a  _girlfriend?_ ”

“Yeah, she’s got the lingere set.”

Amélie choked.

“We all have some varying amount of merchandise,” Mei admitted, using the tips of her fingers to carefully bring up her glasses without smudging the lens. “I have everyone’s little chibi figures! Hanzo’s comes with little dragons, it’s so  _cute_.” 

“The Junkrat bathbombs have little smiley face thingies on the inside,” Fareeha added. “And they’re passion-fruit scented. Jamie  _loves_  them.” 

“Do any of you collect royalties on them?” Amélie asked faintly. “Hana...excluded.” 

There was a resounding chorus of ‘no’s from around the table. 

“Angie, look, the Moira die rolled a  _nat 20!_ ” Hana said, showing the prize. 

“Oh, may I see that?” Angela pretended to inspect the die, colored evenly down the middle in gold and purple, then tossed it into a nearby waste basket. 

There was a beat of silence. Fareeha smothered a snort in her hand and Satya pursed her lips to keep from smiling. Hana raised an eyebrow while Angela took a level sip from her water bottle again, meeting her gaze head on. 

“You know what? Fair.” Hana dug out a few other dice, rolled them, and replaced the discarded die with a neutrally colored blue one that glittered faintly. “Okay, I’m good.” 

“Everyone is set?” Satya smiled wickedly as her players nodded. Dice were piled within easy reach, snacks and drinks carefully placed to the sides, each player carrying with them a journal filled with their own notes from the campaign so far; it was utterly perfect. “Then, let us continue where we left off. You all had just set off to your next destination from the quaint town of Humbleton.” 

With a flick of her left wrist, Satya wove a basic map of said down into being. A wiggle of her fingers and a cart filled with the silhouettes of their characters appeared. The cart was being drawn by two average horses, and as it moved, so did the backdrop like a side-scroller. 

“After a night spent at the tavern, the Naughty Ukelele, Y’ikeas, you procured information, is that correct?” 

“I did!” Angela opened her journal to the bookmarked page. “The gnome waiter at the tavern said that--oh, I’m sorry, should I be sharing this with the others?”

“Feel free,” Satya said, pleased. “I’ll step in when necessary.”

“Right.” A clearing of her throat and Angela said in her character’s voice, affected a Greek accent to go with it, “There is a farm northeast of here, about fifty miles. There’s a rumor that it has pegasi.” 

“Well, I should  _hope_  so,” drawled Amélie, her voice lowering to a husky contralto, a bit of an over exaggeration of her natural accent. “We have only been searching for these blasted beasts for,” she glanced at her notebook, then back up, “ _three_  weeks.” 

“Three very nice weeks, Dru!” Lena chimed in with a raspy squawk. “C’mon, it’s been a few--a few months in game, yeah, DM?”

“Just so,” Satya nodded. “About five months, in game, have passed since your first meeting.”

“Basically,” Hana interrupted with a slurring, southern drawl, “what birdbrain over there means is that we’ve been  _cozy_ together, right? Ain’t no reason to be all prickly.  _Who_  was it that saved your ass with a healin’ spell last time?”

Amélie’s jaw ticked. “You,” she muttered. 

“Annnnd  _who_  was it that bailed you outta the paralysis trap you sprung?”

“....Not you?” 

“That would be me,” Fareeha giggled. “Hi, yes, me. Your cleric.” Rather than changing her accent, Fareeha simply took her voice an octave higher, fluttering her lashes afterward. “Remember,  _Drusilla?”_

_“_ I would prefer not,” ‘Drusilla’ replied. “It was not my finest moment.” 

“Oh, let’s not argue,” said Mei, playing her part as the party’s peacekeeper. She had tried for a character voice and never really gotten it down. “We have a lengthy journey ahead of us, right?” 

'Y’ikaes’ nodded with a grunt. 

“Then let’s not dawdle. Ophinorae,” Mei said, turning her head to Lena, “Would you and Snowball like to scout up ahead and above?” 

“Aye, don’t see why not! And I flex my big strong wings,” Lena gushed, “and take off into the air and put these bird peepers to work!” 

“I send Snowball after her, I think I’m aiding? Oh, but I’ll look through their eyes for a bit.” 

“Alright, that’s fine,” Satya said, “Ophinorae, roll a perception check for me, with advantage.” 

Lena seized two d20′s from her pile and rolled. When one stopped directly on the 20, she let out a hoot of victory, both fists raised in the air. 

“No way,” Amélie said, raising up on her feet to confirm it. She let out a laugh, and sat back. “The first roll of the session!” 

“First fuckin’ roll, can you believe that?! That’s a twenty-three total, DM.” 

“Excellent, excellent,” Satya said, unable to resist a brief and elated flap of her hands as she watched her players exchange high fives. “Ophinorae, and Hua by extension, you see nothing ahead of you on the road. It looks very clear. Very safe.”  
  
“I guess we swoop down back onto the cart and let them know!” Lena leaned forward. “Should we go fast-pace, y’think? Since it looks clear.” 

“Sure,” Hana said, “why not?”

Her mouth hidden behind the partition, Satya smirked. 

* * *

 

“I want to rage,” Angela demanded as the encounter began, the party besieged by a roving pack of gnolls. “Let me rage let me rage I’M GOING TO RAGE!”

* * *

 

“I don’t want to alarm anyone,” Fareeha said as the second encounter began a mere in-game hour later, “but uhhhh, Iriebith’s down.”

“What?!” Amélie snapped. “I left you alone! For five minutes! And you’re  _dead?!_ ”

“Hey, you’re the one who didn’t protect your healer,” Fareeha shrugged. “Ask me for a rez, I dare you.”

“I’ll just cast Ray of Frost,” Mei said as Angela leveled a murderous glare in  Amélie’s direction. “And pray.”

* * *

 

Three admittedly vicious encounters and a Spare the Dying clutch resurrect later, the party had managed to make it to their destination. Satya did not consider herself a sadistic sort of person, but watching her players suffer consequences for trusting her  _too_  much was...validating.

“So,” she said brightly after the break had concluded, clapping her hands together, “you park your cart and hitch the horses to a nearby tree, and as you exit the treeline you come across a beautiful field fit to  _burst_  with a flock of majestic pegasi.”

“Oh thank goodness,” Mei, who had been the closest to dying on the third encounter, practically wheezed.

“But,” Satya held up a finger, “as you all look closer, you can see that tending to this flock, no,  _guarding_  it, is a beautiful and enchanting woman of elven heritage. You approach and she looks up, her vibrant green eyes impassively raking the lot of you head to toe, until she comes upon...” 

Satya rolled a d6 behind her partition and chuckled. 

“...Drusilla, at which her eyes seem to light up.” 

“Oh?” Amélie squinted. “...Oh. Oh, god. Okay. I say...oh, forget this, hello. We need Pegasi to chase a murderous warlock. Would you be willing to part with them for coin?”

Satya faced her player head on. “She flirts with you.”

“ _Nice!”_ Hana whispered. 

Amélie blinked. “I...I flirt back.”

“How.”

“I...” Amélie drummed her fingers on the table. “I. Say something sexy?”

“Like what,” Satya pressed. “You must be specific.” 

“Oh my god,” Amélie mumbled, sinking into her seat. She had a brief internal debate, then sat up in her chair. “Excuse me, madame,” she said, her voice sultry but her face laughably stoic in contrast, “but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And I need a pegasus.”

Mei snorted, burst into a fit of cackles, and clamped a hand over her mouth afterwards. “I’m sorry! Sorry, sorry, but that was just...so bad.”

“You can’t  _flirt?”_ Lena laughed from across the table. “Oh  _no_ , Amé, this is going to ruin so many of Emily’s ideas.”

“I’m doing my best okay,” Amélie snapped back, then sputtered, “I’m sorry,  _ideas?”_

“I don’t know. It would work on me,” Angela muttered quietly. Fareeha elbowed her arm, mouthing ‘ _same’_  as they both exchanged a low five under the table.

“Would you like to roll...hm, let’s go with Deception?” Satya prepared her own hidden dice. 

“Fine.” Amélie rolled and watched the die as it stopped on 15. “With my modifier, and expertise--”

“Well, her total came to a thirteen,” Satya said, grinning. “She is under your spell, as it were.” She cleared her throat, drawing out her vowels and even going to far as to pet at a lock of her own hair coyly. “You know...my dwelling has a bedding of heather. Perhaps you’d be more comfortable  _indoors_?”

“Can I offer her my waterskin?” Hana asked, “Cause holy  _shit_  this pegasus farmer is thirsty.”

“Fuck! The! Elf!” Lena began to chant, knocking her knuckles against the table. “Fuck! The! Elf!” 

Mei joined in. “Fuck the elf! Fuck the elf!” 

“Shut up!” Amélie burst, her cold cheeks flushed. “I am  _not_  going to fuck the elf! What do I roll to  _not_  fuck the elf. What do I roll.  _Satya what do I roll_ \--” 

Satya leaned back in her chair. “You have offended the elf maiden, and she looks disinterested in doing business with you.”

“What?!” Angela and Amélie shouted in unison.

“Allllright, alright, hold up!” Hana interjected. “I’m gonna step in here before Drusilla  _ruins_  this again. So I saddle on up to this  _pretty_ lil lady and I tip my hat to her. Howdy. I’m Hector the  _Well_  Endowed. You got a bunch a’pegasi; lets make a deal.”

“Roll persuasion,” Satya commanded. Hana picked up the Widowmaker themed d20 and rolled; a seventeen, for a pretty total of twenty. “That succeeds...alright, she looks up...down, to you, Hector, and asks ‘what kind of deal?’“ 

Hana bounced her brows. “The kind you wouldn’t wanna make with that dour ol’ drow over there. Trust me. I got  _experience for days._ DM, how kinky is she?”

Satya quirked a brow. “I didn’t account for kink when I was rolling for stats. Let’s put her on a scale of one to ten. Roll a d10 for me, Hana.” 

“No,” Angela moaned in horror, her face burning red as she tried to hide behind her fingers. Lena had not stopped her chant of ‘fuck the elf’ yet. Hana rolled her die, and the table, for a moment, held its collective breath.

It was an eight. 

“Ohohoho _kay_  then,” Hana cackled, rubbing her hands together. “So, I take her by the hand, and I lead her into the dwelling.” 

“Do not,” Angela warned, resembling a beet more than a doctor. Fareeha had joined in the ‘fuck the elf’ chant. Amélie appeared as if she had seen a ghost then shrugged her shoulders and began to mouth along  _fuck the elf_. “Hana Song if you  _describe this in detail_ \--”

“I rip off a piece of my tunic, and fashion it into a blindfold,” Hana steamrolled. 

“Oh, Hector, I don’t know if--” Satya began, in character. 

“Shhh...shhhh. I place the blindfold gently over the elf maiden’s eyes...” And she stood from the table, pointed at Angela, and roared, “and I  _RAW THE SHIT OUT OF THIS ELF!_ ” 

The table erupted with a cheer. Angela put her face directly on the surface of the table as Hana took her well earned bows. When Satya had recovered from her own fit of laughter, she wiped an errant tear from the corner of her eye and declared, “Hana, take a point of inspiration.”

“Hell yeah!!” 

Satya rolled, checked the result, and nodded. “The elf maiden,  _thoroughly_  satisfied, promises you all a pegasi each. She also vows to watch over your cart and other horses while you’re off on your quest. And I think we will leave the session at that.” 

“Ho-my god,” Lena wheezed, “that was great. Hana you bloody  _genius_. I think I love you.” 

“I  _know_  I love you,” Fareeha managed. 

“I hate every single one of you,” Angela muttered.

“Thank you all very much for playing,” Satya said. “Same time next week?” 

“Count me in! Would it be alright if I brought Emily in as a guest? She’s got her character sheet all done up...”

“That sounds lovely, Lena. I’d be honored.” 

Satya packed up her things and watched the rest of the party to the same. The trash from various snacks and empty drinks were gathered and taken out; the sound of dice falling against other dice had a soothing quality to it. There was gentle ribbing, a theory thrown here and there about the elusive warlock they were chasing. 

She couldn’t  _wait_  for Thursday.

**Author's Note:**

> for anyone curious everyone is level 5
> 
> angela, y'ikaes, air genasi barbarian, path of the zealot  
> fareeha, iriebirth, human cleric, tempest domain  
> hana, hector the wellendowed, halfling bard, college of glamour  
> lena, ophinorae, aarakocra monk, way of the sun soul  
> amelie, drusilla, drow rouge, assassin  
> mei, hua, human wizard, school of evocation
> 
> thanks for reading and is it thursday yet


End file.
